A strange cinematic homage to the classic, but almost equally sensational Blackboard Jungle, Class of 1984 is a cautionary tale: a warning to parents everywhere just how senselessly depraved our schools may yet become. I'll save you the scene by scene comparison to Blackboard Jungle, and instead stress the complete outrageousness that infests this movie. Oh, and the total abandonment of subtlety. There's the scene where one student, high on angel dust, climbs the flag pole and then falls to his death wrapped in the American flag. Then there's the scene in which the biology teacher decides to "get through to his students" by holding them at gun point. It's the ending that really drives home the social commentary though. The selflessly heroic teacher, played irritatingly by Perry King, finally gets his revenge: severing one of the student's arms and then impaling him on a saw in shop class, setting another on fire, crushing two more in a car crash in the automotive shop, and then finally pushing his nemesis through the glass ceiling above the auditorium to swing by his neck on the end of a rope, all while his orchestra students plod through the 1812 Overture below. This is one classy movie (pun intended?). At least Glenn Ford knew to turn the other cheek.
Don't get me wrong, though. It was enjoyable. Entertaining even. In a kitschy time-capsule sort of way. The theme song, by Alice Cooper, is still stuck in my head. In another nod to all things subtle, the lyrics go something like this:
When does a dream become a nightmare?It reminds me of Richard Vernon and Carl sitting in the basement of Shermer High School sharing a beer. Vernon says: Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night... That when I get older, these kids are gonna take care of me.
I am the future, and you belong to me.
I am the future, the world belongs to me.
Ultimately, Class of 1984 falls into a category of high school movies that I have very little interest in. They are told from the perspective of paranoid adults who want to commiserate with each other over the terrible state of "these kids today". The only high school movies more annoying are the ones that the teacher's union bank rolls every few years in order to inspire would be public school teachers to take up the mantle of public education. You know the type: Stand and Deliver, Dangerous Minds, Freedom Writers, etc. These movies don't really interest me. At least not as much as the ones that actually depict the high school experience from the perspective of the students themselves.
